The i.C.’s are the future party people, and the future is now.
Okay the future was then, but you missed it. Here comes the future again right now.
Damn, there it went.
You have to be on time if you want to be part of the future. In the following movie Rafi and I will travel to the future in order to de-segregate breakfast and lunch. Can’t we all sit together at the table of low nutritional value fastfood brotherhood? Hells Chea! But that requires that you get to McDonald’s by 10:55am. Right before the menu board is irrevocably switched from breakfast to lunch. Order your breakfast as you would like it. While you stand at the counter in the moments that will be required for your order to be completed, let’s call that the time-space continuum, place your lunch order.
You have just traveled to the future. It is a place where eggs come together with premium LUNCH chicken meat as well as Swiss cheese, Canadian bacon, French fries and a marvel of American engineering… Syrup-injected bread. This my friends is how you travel on an international spaceship. Don’t forget to add the premium honey mustard sauce to keep all the parts well lubricated and don’t you dare let anyone ever tell you how to eat your food.
I hope you are all balls deep in some summer fun. Your balls, of course. [ll] to me referencing your balls.
The i.C. collective has been ruminating on which outdoor music festival we would fucks with this summer. The Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival is on and popping again. I thought we did a pretty decent job covering this single day event by posting four (4) videos of our exploits there. My favorite joint was the final one titled ‘The Lost Tapes’. This is where I think you can really see how much love we have for this Hip-Hop shit. Plus, Rafi came off with the greatest line evar when he asked Killa Sha what he did for Traj Kadafi other than holding dude’s sacks [ll]. Classic.
With this event under our belt we trudged around Randall’s Island in a downpour to film the scene at the Rock The Bells concert. On that day the ‘i’ in i.C.’s should have stood for intrepid. The grounds were a fucking mess and the event organizers treated the press worse than the shit that was festering all summer in the gang of port-a-potties on the campsite. None of the difficulty in producing the video was evident and what you see are Rafi and I having the time of our lives enjoying the soundtrack to our lives while kids injured themselves mudwrestling and someone gets to smoke some good ass “white boy” weed.
You would have thought that we would be invited by either of these event organizers to return this summer and produce videos of these concerts that surpassed the quality of our previous work? You would be wrong in that thinking however. The iNternets Celebrities remain as the Rodney Dangerfields of this outdoor Hip-Hop concert shit. This lack of love from the event organizers had left one i.C. member a bit unmotivated to return to these events.
I can’t blame Rafi totally since I am the dude that said “Eff the Bklyn Hip-Hop Fest!” I found myself feeling a kind of way because of their previous swagger jack from i.C. material. I know who taught them dudes their language and I didn’t even get a Brooklyn Bodega New Era fitted cap as a thank you. Rafi feels that Guerilla Nation doesn’t represent or support that ethos by not recognizing our transcendant guerilla filmmaking.
At the end of the day we are both correct. Our love for the subject matter was never based on profit. We cover these events because we love this music. Sometimes though we have to use tough love even if it breaks our hearts so that we don’t contribute to the bottom lines of the vultures that are picking at the bones of the Hip-Hop carcass. I would love to cover the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival and the Rock The Bells concert in true iNternets Celebrities style with all access press passes that allowed us into the craft services area and the hooker bus. But alas my friends, not this year.
However, our outdoor concert season isn’t totally fucked the fuck up…
Dallas works as a construction manager.
Rafi is a programmer for a non-profit.
I make commercials for cable channels.
Dayjobs are how we make money.
We want to make money off of our movies.
Not fuck you money. Not retarded money. Maybe just a little make-it-rain money? No, just enough money to support taking some days off work, to justify spending some night-time hours on an edit and maybe most importantly, actually paying the good people that shoot, score, design and help us craft the IC flicks.
So we’re asking you kind souls who have enjoyed Checkmate or Bodega, Ghetto Big Mac or Cereal is Dope, Rock the Bells or Hip Hop Honors to help fund our next movie.
We’ve even implemented a handy widget on the right side of this site where you can throw us whatever loose digital dollars you’ve got floating around.
Seriously, even 1 dollar would be appreciated. The great thing about our internets is that we’re lucky enough to be able to get our documentary on check-cashing places in front of almost 500,000 people. If even a fraction of that group pitched in a dollar each, we’d be able to make movies our dayjob.
Now, we don’t have tote bags. And we’re working on T-shirts. Sweet Jesus, we’re working on some T-shirts.
But what we can offer you as a small token of our appreciation is a producer credit.
We don’t have a patron at the moment. We don’t have an agent. We don’t have any sponsors yet. So, basically, we’ve got a lot of room in our end credits and we want that space to go to the people who fund our next movie – essentially producing it.
The producer on most projects is the one who either comes up with the money or handles the money’s distribution throughout the set. For a $1 minimum contribution, you will be listed in our next movie’s end credits as one of our producers.
The wheels are turning on the next project and it’s going to be great. We can’t talk about its content yet as we don’t want to be scooped. But if you’re interested in finding out more before committing some cash, email us for a short synopsis on the next opus.
We’re always happy to discuss future projects with our producers.
Since I make most of my money by writing and producing commercials, I thought it’d be fun to apply a cable channel’s logic to the Internets Celebrities video flow.
We’re about to drop our biggest documentary yet and in service of that, I thought I’d tease the premiere.
The good/bad thing about promos (on TV or otherwise) is that the science of ratings is inexact. Trailer-makers and promo-producers can never take the full credit or full blame for the size of an audience (or lack thereof). It’s basically viewed as a can’t hurt type of format. Promos get a lot of scrutiny (sometimes too much) because they’re often the first chance that the audience has to look at the actual show.
I just want promos or commercials I make to leave the viewer with the same feeling I get from watching a good trailer in the theater: Damn, I’d like to see that movie.
Failing that, I’d settle for a WTF.
In any event, the above promos are two jokes that I liked a lot from the footage we shot for our new doc that didn’t fit in the final cut. Or maybe they’re in the final cut. Or maybe I’ve said too much.