I just finished a brand new documentary about buying baseball cards at my local card store and the sweetly tragic nature of collecting (at least I think it’s sweetly tragic):
The baseball card industry has radically changed. As one of the regulars at the store says: “The kids are out.”
Thanks very much for watching.
A few weeks back, around the weekend of Daylight Savings Time, I thought to myself: Wait, is Daylight Savings time this weekend? Is it Saturday? When the hell is it?
So I turned to google for help. Punched in the full question and as you can imagine, got back a shitload of links. I clicked on one of the top links – one that had a promising description – and went to the page. At the page, I had to scroll down, sift through some visual noise (ads, other time-related links, or way too much information) and only then, did I see that in fact Daylight Savings Time was that weekend – that Sunday morning to be precise.
The sad truth is that I was annoyed that I had to complete four steps to get an answer to that question. The search, the pick, the sift, the answer. And the pick took surprisingly long. I thought the clearest url would make my choice for me but they were all extensions of things like webexhibits.com, infoplease.com, aa.usno.navy, etc. The clearest one I could find was timeanddate.com but that led to a website dominated by an unnecessarily informative essay.
I didn’t want to learn a single thing about Daylight Savings Time. I just wanted to know the exact day when I should set my clock back.
I told this to fellow Internets Celebrity, Rafi Kam. Rafi told me we had the technology to not only make a site that counted down until Daylight Savings Time but we could automate it. I told Rafi, “that is fresh!”
Then, we leapt into action.
When Is Daylight Savings Time?
It means what it says and it says what it means.
I wanted the url for this site to be the most basic version of the question I wanted answered. I wanted to sidestep google even. If you took your question and plugged it in to your browswer, you’d get the answer you were looking for. In theory, we made it a one-step process. But that level of browser-faith might not be realistic. At the very least, I felt like we’d saved people valuable seconds.
Anyway, this got us thinking: what other notable dates took more than a one-step process to find out when they were happening. These are what we came up with:
When Is The Full Moon?
When Is Easter This Year?
And the slowest automated countdown ever:
Then, we took all those sites and grouped them together at:
where we welcome suggestions for other Whens.
As I admired these sites, I realized I’d learned some things during their creation.
1) Daylight Savings Times are not equidistant from each other. Someone told me that it was changed not too long ago so that now it’s like 230 days between Springing Forward and Falling Back and then like 135 days on the other end. I heard that the last change was on account of trick or treaters so that they could have more daylight on Halloween. Um. That’s weird.
2) The reason I don’t know when Daylight Savings Time is anymore, is because I don’t listen to the radio. I listen to podcasts but I don’t do a lot of real-time radio listening. And that’s where I used to just casually hear about falling back or springing forward. It’s not that big a revelation but there’s something lonely about not all hearing at once about mundane things like clock-setting.
Anyway, thanks for checking out the sites.
I love the subway late at night when no one’s on it
I always enjoy watching the lonely glass bottle that no one picks up roll around
And if I’m really lucky, late at night, I get the best of both worlds
Shouts to Dallas, Sydney, Will, Fried, Jessie and Ian for helping me roll 50 bottles around an empty subway car.
Tron Guy was nice enough to answer some pressing questions regarding the new Tron movie, the fact that he owns a plane and what we have to do to save the economy.
Thank you Tron Guy!
At the end of the day Mountain Dew blue didn’t call for me to go to South by South West. That didn’t change my feeling for Mountain Dew blue either. I want to be with Mountain Dew blue. We have fun together. We like the same things like action figures, anime and Adult Swim.
I appreciate all the time that Mountain Dew and I have spent together, but I’m ready to move on with Mountain Dew blue now. I just hope Mountain Dew doesn’t call my phone when blue and I are together alone. That might get uncomfortable.
The iC’s were hoping to make the jump to the South by South West Media and Music Conference this year with one of our pics on our plate but no dice from the SxSW braintrust this time around. That’s too bad since we could have painted the town iC red (its the color you get when you mix blood, vomit and cherry Kool-Aid together) something like we did when we were at the Sundance Film Festival.
Anyhoo, I’m still petitioning to make the trip to Austin, but I’m hoping that a bigtime corporation will foot the bill since my rent money is late again. It turns out that PepsiCo is a bigtime sponsor of the conference and I just happen to use Mountain Dew Voltage as my substitute for water. At least I did until I decided to boycott Mountain Dew Voltage because they weren’t sending me to SxSW. Yes, I am retarded for staging a boycott, but that is what my mom calls me when I leave the basement to make a Ghetto Big Mac.
I’m hoping that enough of my friends will support this Mountain Dew Blue boycott along with me to convince the folks at Mountain Dew to send me and a cameraman to Austin to film the goings on. If Mountain Dew wants iC quality production then they only need to come up on some iC dollars. This is PepsiCo internets. These are the dudes that underwrote Shaquille O’Neal’s first rap album.
Sending some of us to film in Austin Texas >>> Kazam!
(^ and you know this maaaaaan)
* Monday Bonus * Monday Bonus * Monday Bonus *
DP x 40 Deez loose in the BX (<- that's the Bronx, but you knew that)
I recently made a video about a real-life problem I faced:
This is all true. I am missing pants.
It’s slightly NSFW (if you can’t explain why you’re watching a video wherein the main character is sometimes not wearing pants).
Damn it feels good to get back to work. In the blustery, brick ass winter we did what we do. We also did it in Manhattan which is the first time we got to use this boro as our co-star. As always though, the i.C.’s is a production unit that has to cross their fingers for it to all come together.
I called Caz in the morning to remind him to load up on battery power for the shoot today with the idea that we would have one of those marathon sessions like we did in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival. Caz informed me that Rafi would be late since he missed his scheduled commuter train. Out meet up time of high noon was pushed back to 12:30.
This was cool for me since I was leaving this brunch spot with my lady Chocolate Snowflake and I was overcome with an intense sense of the bubbly. I pulled up into the Brooklyn public library at Grand Army Plaza and found a secret bathroom perfect for deucing. I handled my handle and came out happy as a clam. Now on to Manhattan.
The subways are effed the eff up on the weekends. The lines get all criss-crossed with the different trains that share the same platforms. The eastside line is running on the westside, the local train is using the express track. It’s all a big clusterfuck for people who don’t live here in NYC and have to use the maps. I already know what to expect so I instinctively get on the wrong train because it will be stopping where I need it to.
Rafi arrived at the meet up spot (ROFLcon NY) earlier than expected and for the first time evar it was Cas who was on iC time. When Cas showed up he promised to foot the bill for today’s meal. Here’s the idea… Our time together is precious and valuable. We have to take that seriously and respectfully. Being on time is a sign of that respect for one another. Yeah whatever dude, we are getting free food. Cas knows how to dangle that carrot in front of Rafi and me.
Our meal was wild good too. We hit up this little BBQ spot in the Lower East Side on Orchard Street and then we returned to hang out with the ROFLcon folks. You may end up seeing a video somewhere on the webs with Rafi and I sandwiching ObamaGirl. It really happened. I was there. I seen’t it. We capped off the night by following Cas into a secret underground ping-pong lair where he summarily pwned us on the tables. Overall we had a great day that you folks ill be proud of at some point.
But mainly, the iNternets Celebrities got back into our New York groove…
When I open up the iNternets Celeb iNbox one of the frequent questions I come upon is why did we adopt the name “internets”? The term internets is actually from a speech given by the soon to be former leader of the free world, global visionary George Bush. He among all people understands that the internets is simply a series of interconnected networks, MySpaces, YouTubes, and Facebooks that come together to make a web. The celebrity aspect comes from the fact that we present lifestyle trends that people are entertained by and enjoy following from Ghetto Big Macs, to bodega food pyramids to pissing inside of telephone booths.
The second question that I receive just as much is “what does CHEA mean?” This question is a little more difficult to answer because the answer doesn’t come from any one single place. Using part of the Eastern philosophy for overall well-being and our connection to this planet we extracted the pronunciation of ‘chi’, and then we took the great call to action and fruit-flavored deliciousness uttered by the ginormous Kool-Aid decanter “Oh Yeah!” we found ourselves at CHEA.
CHEA is the word ‘yes’ in exponential form. CHEA is using the force to levitate mini egg rolls from the kitchen to the couch. CHEA is hitting the winning three point shot at the buzzer. Over Michael Jordan’s outstretched palm. CHEA is you having a threesome with Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson. Ten years ago. CHEA is the act of sprinkling crack over the word ‘yes’. CHEA will get you higher than anything you have ever smoked. CHEA is magic dust. CHEA makes everything better and all you have to do is say the word. First came the word, and it was all good. My God says CHEA.
Hells yeah?!? No. CHEA.
In the spirit and celebration of CHEA we bring to you the inaugural iNternets Celebrities tee shirt – CHEA We Can Believe In
The shirt is available right now in sizes Small to XXL or sold as a separate item – in a more spacious 3XL.
Along with this newly minted tee we are also offering DVD’s collecting six of our favorite episodes. They have been rendered using high definition imprinting and will be totally and completely CHEA when you play them on your television.
Internets Celebrities – We Left Our Mother’s Basement is a DVD featuring the official IC videos: Ghetto Big Mac, Bodega, Cereal is Dope, Urine Nation, Checkmate and Futuristic Brunch. At $15 it makes a great stocking stuffer! (Also suitable for Hannukah, Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice.)
Let the iNternets Celebrities show you how to fix the economy for the new year. It all starts with CHEA.
The iNternets Celebrities have been fortunate enough to have friends that recognize us for something greater than simply one-liners and well placed cuss words. We have always stood for something bigger than ourselves. A movement (gawd, I hate that word almost as much as swagger), or better yet, a lifestyle. We don’t simply strive to return our energy back into NYC. We want to give that shit to the world.
My homey from Desedo Films put me on to this one-day conference being held in New York City where a gang of nerds, tech geeks, economists, philanthropists and general do-gooders would be speaking about the things that were near and dear to them. I decided to attend and kick it to the congregation about the i.C. film ‘Bodega’. The genesis of this film is deeper than some folks might think. We really wanted to highlight the haves and the have-nots in the game of nutrition.
It is fascinating and ultimately sad that our film was shot in the shadow of the Hunts Point Food Market. The healthiest, freshest food in NYC comes through that hub. The folks in Hunts Point may not even have a clue. And on the other hand, they may not even care. After years, ne generations, of consuming foodstuffs at the bodega I believe we have lost all but the youngest of this community. Damn you and your tasty goodness creme-filled chocolate chip cookie!
I signed up to speak on this at the InterestingNY conference. There were a lot more folks than I expected and I even had the chance to feel the hot glare of a spotlight being cast upon me. Speaking in front of crowds is something that I generally don’t shy away from. I am a class clown at heart. I typically perform for Rafi and Cas. If I can make them laugh then I know I am onto something. The audience at InterestingNY didn’t stand a chance against my charm that had been practised first upon my my i.C. brothers. Here’ the clip of my presentation…
Dallas Penn at Interesting New York from David Nottoli on Vimeo.
There were some other speakers who really aced their time at the podium. You can check their vids over here.
“Wisecracking social critics who deconstruct the worlds of check-cashing outlets, street vendors and even sugar-laden breakfast cereal.” Read the rest.
