At the end of the day Mountain Dew blue didn’t call for me to go to South by South West. That didn’t change my feeling for Mountain Dew blue either. I want to be with Mountain Dew blue. We have fun together. We like the same things like action figures, anime and Adult Swim.
I appreciate all the time that Mountain Dew and I have spent together, but I’m ready to move on with Mountain Dew blue now. I just hope Mountain Dew doesn’t call my phone when blue and I are together alone. That might get uncomfortable.
The iC’s were hoping to make the jump to the South by South West Media and Music Conference this year with one of our pics on our plate but no dice from the SxSW braintrust this time around. That’s too bad since we could have painted the town iC red (its the color you get when you mix blood, vomit and cherry Kool-Aid together) something like we did when we were at the Sundance Film Festival.
Anyhoo, I’m still petitioning to make the trip to Austin, but I’m hoping that a bigtime corporation will foot the bill since my rent money is late again. It turns out that PepsiCo is a bigtime sponsor of the conference and I just happen to use Mountain Dew Voltage as my substitute for water. At least I did until I decided to boycott Mountain Dew Voltage because they weren’t sending me to SxSW. Yes, I am retarded for staging a boycott, but that is what my mom calls me when I leave the basement to make a Ghetto Big Mac.
I’m hoping that enough of my friends will support this Mountain Dew Blue boycott along with me to convince the folks at Mountain Dew to send me and a cameraman to Austin to film the goings on. If Mountain Dew wants iC quality production then they only need to come up on some iC dollars. This is PepsiCo internets. These are the dudes that underwrote Shaquille O’Neal’s first rap album.
Sending some of us to film in Austin Texas >>> Kazam! (^ and you know this maaaaaan)
* Monday Bonus * Monday Bonus * Monday Bonus *
DP x 40 Deez loose in the BX (<- that's the Bronx, but you knew that)
Damn it feels good to get back to work. In the blustery, brick ass winter we did what we do. We also did it in Manhattan which is the first time we got to use this boro as our co-star. As always though, the i.C.’s is a production unit that has to cross their fingers for it to all come together.
I called Caz in the morning to remind him to load up on battery power for the shoot today with the idea that we would have one of those marathon sessions like we did in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival. Caz informed me that Rafi would be late since he missed his scheduled commuter train. Out meet up time of high noon was pushed back to 12:30.
This was cool for me since I was leaving this brunch spot with my lady Chocolate Snowflake and I was overcome with an intense sense of the bubbly. I pulled up into the Brooklyn public library at Grand Army Plaza and found a secret bathroom perfect for deucing. I handled my handle and came out happy as a clam. Now on to Manhattan.
The subways are effed the eff up on the weekends. The lines get all criss-crossed with the different trains that share the same platforms. The eastside line is running on the westside, the local train is using the express track. It’s all a big clusterfuck for people who don’t live here in NYC and have to use the maps. I already know what to expect so I instinctively get on the wrong train because it will be stopping where I need it to.
Rafi arrived at the meet up spot (ROFLcon NY) earlier than expected and for the first time evar it was Cas who was on iC time. When Cas showed up he promised to foot the bill for today’s meal. Here’s the idea… Our time together is precious and valuable. We have to take that seriously and respectfully. Being on time is a sign of that respect for one another. Yeah whatever dude, we are getting free food. Cas knows how to dangle that carrot in front of Rafi and me.
Our meal was wild good too. We hit up this little BBQ spot in the Lower East Side on Orchard Street and then we returned to hang out with the ROFLcon folks. You may end up seeing a video somewhere on the webs with Rafi and I sandwiching ObamaGirl. It really happened. I was there. I seen’t it. We capped off the night by following Cas into a secret underground ping-pong lair where he summarily pwned us on the tables. Overall we had a great day that you folks ill be proud of at some point.
But mainly, the iNternets Celebrities got back into our New York groove…
When I open up the iNternets Celeb iNbox one of the frequent questions I come upon is why did we adopt the name “internets”? The term internets is actually from a speech given by the soon to be former leader of the free world, global visionary George Bush. He among all people understands that the internets is simply a series of interconnected networks, MySpaces, YouTubes, and Facebooks that come together to make a web. The celebrity aspect comes from the fact that we present lifestyle trends that people are entertained by and enjoy following from Ghetto Big Macs, to bodega food pyramids to pissing inside of telephone booths.
The second question that I receive just as much is “what does CHEA mean?” This question is a little more difficult to answer because the answer doesn’t come from any one single place. Using part of the Eastern philosophy for overall well-being and our connection to this planet we extracted the pronunciation of ‘chi’, and then we took the great call to action and fruit-flavored deliciousness uttered by the ginormous Kool-Aid decanter “Oh Yeah!” we found ourselves at CHEA.
CHEA is the word ‘yes’ in exponential form. CHEA is using the force to levitate mini egg rolls from the kitchen to the couch. CHEA is hitting the winning three point shot at the buzzer. Over Michael Jordan’s outstretched palm. CHEA is you having a threesome with Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson. Ten years ago. CHEA is the act of sprinkling crack over the word ‘yes’. CHEA will get you higher than anything you have ever smoked. CHEA is magic dust. CHEA makes everything better and all you have to do is say the word. First came the word, and it was all good. My God says CHEA.
Hells yeah?!? No. CHEA.
In the spirit and celebration of CHEA we bring to you the inaugural iNternets Celebrities tee shirt – CHEA We Can Believe In
Along with this newly minted tee we are also offering DVD’s collecting six of our favorite episodes. They have been rendered using high definition imprinting and will be totally and completely CHEA when you play them on your television.
Internets Celebrities – We Left Our Mother’s Basement is a DVD featuring the official IC videos: Ghetto Big Mac, Bodega, Cereal is Dope, Urine Nation, Checkmate and Futuristic Brunch. At $15 it makes a great stocking stuffer! (Also suitable for Hannukah, Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice.)
Let the iNternets Celebrities show you how to fix the economy for the new year. It all starts with CHEA.
The iNternets Celebrities have been fortunate enough to have friends that recognize us for something greater than simply one-liners and well placed cuss words. We have always stood for something bigger than ourselves. A movement (gawd, I hate that word almost as much as swagger), or better yet, a lifestyle. We don’t simply strive to return our energy back into NYC. We want to give that shit to the world.
My homey from Desedo Films put me on to this one-day conference being held in New York City where a gang of nerds, tech geeks, economists, philanthropists and general do-gooders would be speaking about the things that were near and dear to them. I decided to attend and kick it to the congregation about the i.C. film ‘Bodega’. The genesis of this film is deeper than some folks might think. We really wanted to highlight the haves and the have-nots in the game of nutrition.
It is fascinating and ultimately sad that our film was shot in the shadow of the Hunts Point Food Market. The healthiest, freshest food in NYC comes through that hub. The folks in Hunts Point may not even have a clue. And on the other hand, they may not even care. After years, ne generations, of consuming foodstuffs at the bodega I believe we have lost all but the youngest of this community. Damn you and your tasty goodness creme-filled chocolate chip cookie!
I signed up to speak on this at the InterestingNY conference. There were a lot more folks than I expected and I even had the chance to feel the hot glare of a spotlight being cast upon me. Speaking in front of crowds is something that I generally don’t shy away from. I am a class clown at heart. I typically perform for Rafi and Cas. If I can make them laugh then I know I am onto something. The audience at InterestingNY didn’t stand a chance against my charm that had been practised first upon my my i.C. brothers. Here’ the clip of my presentation…
Rooftop Films has been very supportive to the Internets Celebrities, showing three of our movies over the past two years.
Now, they’re showing 100 movies from Rooftop’s 2008 summer series on IFC.com – including Checkmate – and supplementing their posts with interviews and other filmmakery things.
To enhance the Checkmate experience, Rooftop sent us some questions, which Dallas answered.
The IC’s are going to be selling some product soon… Expect to see some T-shirts and dvd’s available here in the near future.
Right now we want to put out a t-shirt based on our rallying cry of “Chea!”. So we’ve created the poll below so that you guys can help us decide which of our shirt designs would be a better choice to have printed up for sale.
You can click on the images in the poll for a larger view.
Today is Veteran’s Day, celebrated elsewhere in the world (and once upon a time in America) as Armistice Day.
This is a holiday to remember the end of World War I which formally took place on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. Naturally, people wanted a holiday to remember WWI aka “The Great War” aka “The War to End All Wars” (SPOILER ALERT: didn’t actually end all wars).
But I think maybe people just wanted a holiday about the date eleven-eleven. It’s cool to say eleven-eleven. Eleven is the smallest number to have three-syllables in it. And unlike the next three-syllable number “seventeen”, eleven sounds pretty… I’d have to be pretty drunk to want to say “seventeen-seventeen”!
In numerical form, 11 11 also looks cool. If I catch the clock when it’s 11:11, I say a wish. How about you?
So here we are on the eleventh day of the eleventh month and our producer widget is flashing $1,110 – just $1 short of $1,111!
My 11/11 wish is that someone donates the $1 to get us up to $1,111.
And then my $1,111 wish is that we’re speedily helped along to $2,222. My birthday is 2/2 so I’m pretty keen on those twos too.
In exchange for your dollar (or larger contribution) you will actually become a producer of the next Internets Celebrities video. We’ve already started on one about Real Estate and gentrification but we’re thinking about getting out a smaller one first, interviewing kids who sell candy on the subway. We take producer feedback very seriously so if you want to weigh in with suggestions on either of the above ideas or other suggestions.. Put your money down and holler at will!
Happy repeating digits day. And chea to all the world’s veterans. The IC’s salute you.
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